I am not a teacher.
I am the experiment.

I built companies in Estonia and the United States for thirty-seven years, and I still do. Electronics first, and then scrap metal, car security, property development, a night club, and restaurants, one of them a large vegetarian dining room.

Inside, I repeated the same circle. I worked until there was nothing left. Then I escaped, hard. Then I came back and started something new, so that coming back had a point. I called it ambition.

At forty-four I stood in front of a mirror holding twenty-eight prescription pills, and the sentence in my head was better death than this kind of life.

I put them in the bin. It was the first thing in my adult life I actually chose rather than fell into.

That night was worse than anything that came before it. In the morning I did two squats, to prove the body was still mine and that I was not going to hand it over.

After that came many years away from business, and mostly alone. Breathing, meditation, chanting, long fasts. Six of those years were the hardest, and people think those six years are the whole story. They were one chapter. I had been working on myself for a long time before them, and I have been at it for much longer since.

By then I had been breathing, meditating and fasting for years. When I first wanted to pass that on, my teacher said, quietly: maybe not yet. He was right, and I stopped. For years I was certain I had nothing to share and never would again.

Years later the wanting was completely gone. Then he said: now you can.

For years I did not. Then I did, at my own table, often until early morning. Everything on this site came out of those nights. So did the book.

Then I met the love of my life, and a gentleness I had not known existed.

This book would not exist without Triinu-Liis. I searched the hard way. A thousand books and ten thousand hours of practice. She was the intuitive healer who had lived these truths since childhood. When she could not sleep as a child, her mother taught her to breathe. She had no teacher, no technique and no name for what she was doing. She went very deep, and it came to her naturally.

Her mother gave her one word at bedtime. Breathe. It took me a mirror, twenty-eight pills and many years to reach the same place. Watching her hurt me and freed me at the same time. I had fought for years to get there. She had it the whole time, in her own breathing.

She later studied bioenergetics. Today she teaches Energy Literacy. We built allGaia together.

Triinu-Liis watched me share these ideas with friends and with people in trouble. She saw the pattern I could not see. She saw that a map had been drawn, and she knew it was not meant for a few people at one table.

With her I finally learned something I had always failed at. I learned to take what somebody gives me. To be seen without armour. To let another person’s gentleness reach me instead of deflecting it. A balanced partnership is not a fantasy. I can tell you it exists, and that it is available to you too.

I am fifty-eight. Triinu-Liis and I are the co-founders of allGaia. Coming out of my health crisis I used a great many supplements, and I learned that nothing on the market contained what a body actually needs to rebuild and to thrive. So we put our own together and found a way to produce it. The first production is done.

I also develop property, manage buildings, and I am writing a book. I will still be doing all of that during the year you work with me, and I do that on purpose. I am not there for you full time.

What I have is more than twenty-five years on one subject. I also found the order the steps have to come in, and it was the same order every time.

Here is all of it in one sentence. There should be no buts in your life. That is what I do, and it is all I do.

What I offer →