Your life can match what you want.
I work with people whose lives look successful but no longer feel right.
Together we look at what keeps repeating: the habits that wear you down, the decisions you avoid, and the ways you lose yourself around other people. You try practical changes in your own life. We work from what actually happens.
The aim is that you make your own decisions, and enjoy more of the life you are living.
What we work towards
Six things you can recognise in your own life.
The point is a change you can see for yourself. These are six abilities we practise, at a pace that fits where you are.
You care for yourself in a way you can keep.
You build daily habits around food, movement, rest and recovery. You practise keeping them through busy weeks, and changing them when your life changes.
You see the reaction before you repeat it.
You begin to catch the moment you usually withdraw, argue, or say yes against your wishes. You practise pausing long enough to choose your response.
You can act without settling every thought first.
Doubt does not have to disappear before you take a step. You practise giving your attention to what needs doing, even while the talking in your head continues.
You can be honest without giving up on the relationship.
You practise saying what you need, listening to the answer, and owning your part. You make room for a relationship in which you can be known.
You can question what you have accepted about yourself.
“I always give up” or “I cannot disappoint people” may have shaped years of decisions. You test those beliefs against your life now, and practise the choices they once ruled out.
You can decide what comes next without handing over your judgement.
You learn to weigh advice, including mine, against what happens in your life. You know what to keep practising, what needs changing, and when to ask for help.
One example
The one thing in the way.
You have known for years what you should do. Knowing has never once been enough. That is not weakness. It has a name. It is the but. I want to be happy, but. I know what to change, but. The but has good arguments, and they win, year after year.
Mine was reasonable for my whole life, and it still comes some mornings. I see it come, and I choose. That is the only thing that changed in me, and it was enough.
I show you your own but. After that you see it every time.
There should be no buts
in your life.
How I work
Practical changes, in your own life.
You tell me the whole of it. I tell you what I see. Then you try a small number of practical changes, written down, in your own days. We work from what actually happens, not from what you hoped would happen.
Nobody manages you, motivates you, or checks whether you did the work. You do not need more motivation. You need a structure that still works on an ordinary morning when you do not feel inspired.
Written down, this work reads heavy. It should not feel heavy. Making the way enjoyable is the actual work, and it is the part I am best at. Nobody keeps doing something that feels like punishment, and that is why most change does not last.
My story
Twenty-five years, one subject.
For years I shared what I had found in the only way I knew how. Not on stages. One person at a time, at my own table, often until early morning. Someone who had sat there told the next person.
I would have gone on doing exactly that. Triinu-Liis, my partner in life and in allGaia, watched those nights for years and saw what I could not see. She said I had drawn a map, and that the map was not meant only for the few people who found their way to my table. She said: write the book, and share this in a different way. People need it.
I did those nights for nothing, for years, and I would do them again tomorrow. Somebody carries a thing for twenty years. Then they put it down in front of you, and you watch their face change. There is no better hour in a life. That is why any of this exists.
Where this comes from
What I bring to the table.
Thirty-seven years of building companies in Estonia, and I am still building them.
Twenty-five years on one subject. I tried all of it on myself before I tried it on anyone else. Nothing here is a method I was taught. It is what happened to me, in the order it happened.
Hundreds of people have sat at that table, and for years not one of them paid. That is where all of this came from.
In twenty-five years I have not met one person in the state I was in myself at forty-four. A body can come back from more than most people have been told.
I am fifty-eight and I still have my own work. You do not get my whole day. I built it that way on purpose.
This is not how my family lives,
so I am free to tell you the truth.
Three ways to work with me.
One is free, one takes two weeks, one takes a year. All three do the same work. Start with the smallest one that could be enough.
Seven Mornings
One letter each morning with that day’s plan. A week of a simple routine, tried on your own life.
Life Immersion
Two hours with me, two weeks of your own work, then one hour more. Written instructions from me.
The Year
One protected hour every week, two full days together, and your whole life rebuilt in the order that fits you.
If you do not know which of the three is yours, take Life Immersion. In our last hour I tell you whether you need anything more than that. All three, in full →
Start here
Try it on yourself first.
Start tomorrow morning. Seven letters, one each morning, free. Seven days is enough to find out what happens to a day when its first hour changes.